My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
