I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
