Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
