Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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