You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
