I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
