my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
