Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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