dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize