On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
