Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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