All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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