dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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