Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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