She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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