dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
