you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
