Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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