Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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