Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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