You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
