He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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