she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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