i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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