But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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