And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
