one two three fourrrrnication!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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