You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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