i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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