I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
