he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
