hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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