Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
