Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
