dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize