You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
