I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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