I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
