So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
please come you make the beer taste better
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
is it fun? or sober?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
