well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
