My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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