I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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