tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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