He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
