Your tits are I can't wait for
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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