I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
40s are totally the cure
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
