She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
