thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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