its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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