Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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