he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
