I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
