Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
