I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
