im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
