my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
